For the past half an hour or so

Olga has been in the bathroom..

scrubbing a toy from her childhood..

a plastic doll which Dunia has drawn on with crayon.

She screamed at me, and was literally teary, about Dunia having done this.

My allowing Dunia to express herself freely was attacked, and I was blamed for this scenario. Extraordinary.

Anger if she is referred to as anything except "Mummy"..

..and yet, the norm has become (for Olga) to call me "Omran" in front of Dunia (rather than "Daddy" as per the previous norm)

As Dunia headed out for her walk with Olga moments ago, she said "I love you Daddy" as she hugged me..

As a result of Dunia's comment & action - and in a complete contrast to the emotions Dunia expressed - Olga gave me a look of disdain and jealousy.

Deleted pictures..

..First it was the evidence of the violence from Valentines Day; bloodied arm, bruises elsewhere

..today the disgusting state re hygiene in the kitchen & all (..3 day build up was photographed before I cleaned it all this morning.. but the evidence has been swiped by Olga before I managed to note it down..)

Un-noted are numerous abusive scenarios...

Of lesser significance, but nevertheless continual..

Olga attempts to minimise any joint (mother & father together with child) activity.

If she is going for a walk with Dunia, and I mention joining, she states there is no need for 2.

If she is going and her mother is going, and I mention joining, she states there is no need for 3.

If she is going and her mother and her sister are going too, and I mention joining, she states there is no need for 4.

...Etc.

When at the playground today, and with Dunia joyfully interacting with me, she complained that (1) I communicate too much with Dunia, instead of just letting her play alone and (2) that there was no need for her to be present... and then she went home.

Re (1), it's totally acceptable that her father is completely talkative and interactive when near to Dunia.. Ditto re her mother..

The attempts to push me away are less and less subtle.

The jealousy and other spiteful emotions left unchecked are on track to damage Dunia.

Let's hope there's some 'check'

We live on the 5th floor of a 5 storey building..

..and there is no lift.

Each floor is separated by 18 steps, 9 in one direction and 9 in the other.

The steps are made of cement.

The railing is made of steel.

---

I messaged Olga today asking to buzz me when she & Dunia return from their walk if she would like that I assist with bringing Dunia upstairs.

She buzzed.

I went downstairs.

I met Olga at near to the third storey.

Dunia was back on the second.

Why?

Because "Dunia wants to climb the steps by herself".

No problem with that scenario.

(But what about the backup factor - in the event of a slip or even given the size of the gaps within the railing itself?)

I asked Olga if it was agreeable to her that we always ensure that one of us is behind Dunia when she is climbing the steps.

..oops..hot button..

Olga went ballistic at me.

Screaming and ranting and raving that she ought to never have called me.. and vowing to never call in future.

As to the point regarding safety and the best interest of the child: not addressed, and clearly not appreciated that was even raised.

--

I too am still trying to work it out.

"I am a patriot and will never leave this country"

Olga just complained about my method of using the toilet brush..

No, I'm not joking.

When I asked to be shown how it ought to be done properly, she responded "let the person you will live with teach you".

I stated I expected her to be this person. And I said that the driving force for this is the best interest of Dunia.

She said that she is not driven by this as the primary force, and that no she didn't carry the same expectation.

She then referred to orphans and their existence without parents (with the qualification that not all of them have dead parents, but rather some have parents who don't want them).

So you want to create the equivalent of an orphan Olga?..

or

orphans are now the benchmark for measuring acceptable parental decisions regarding home environment creation?