Impatience with the baby

"I don't have the patience for you!!" (burst out Mum, when the 23 month old daughter resisted putting on her trousers after a pamper change).

Interestingly, she came and looked at my face soon after the outburst. I was staring at the book I'd been reading (but it seemed clear I wasn't reading at that second).

An attack on me followed. "I feel like I'm being monitored 24/7!"... I suspect this translated as I know what I said was wrong, and it pisses me of that you were present to hear it - along with other things I have said and done wrong with our daughter..

Expect everything + Appreciate nothing

..is I believe, a recipe for disaster.

Trying to contend with it real-time is not the easiest task.

No presents from the husband bring joy, no trips abroad are given value, criticism is found in every nook & cranny...

(admittedly, it's not only my gifts that get a negative wrap.. when the in-laws gave us a stroller, the first comment was not thank you. It was, why does it not have a certain feature that was desired?)

As if it wasn't enough that I wasn't attacked for my manner of laughing...

...the latest reproach was for my manner of sneezing

(a virulent outburst followed a sneeze today, with the follow-up that if I didn't adjust my manner of sneezing, I would be setting our daughter a bad example)

Anger that Daddy is close to his daughter

It causes consternation to Mum, that Dad is so committed to the little ones' development. She refers to his commitment as an obsession. As that Dad, I find this a spectacularly negative and sad perspective.

Jealousy is invoked, and a mood swing in Mum to the hardcore negative sets in, where the little princess shows clear and joy filled affection towards Daddy.

Dad's patience with the little one is a source of anger at times too .. particularly where some positive is pointed out in a behaviour that Mum considered inappropriate (..such as the spilling of a little water onto floorboards and then proceeding to the dry up the spillage with a pre-organised tea towel).

Only the single have lives

..says a mother of an amazing young daughter

When considering which people to invite for dinner or the like, it's been unequivocally stated that the people who are known to be single are the only ones worth inviting. The married ones only talk about "family" things; they don't have "real" lives.

Looks and brains of a child

What balance of time ought there be in the focus on each of these aspects?

Does one try to assist in developing a doll .. or a well-rounded, self-dependent, self-believing and socially aware human being?

Is it considered educative

..if your child learns expletives from your wifes' verbal attacks on you

or

..if your child learns to strike out at something or hit something as a result of seeing her Mum do the same against her Dad (where she is frustrated)

Does breastmilk have the same nutritional value...

...when the primary reason the mother is still giving it is to try to make the baby feel closer to her than to the father

..as she does not believe the father wants her in the family photo - notwithstanding that among MANY other things, he has spent the last two years in a foreign country where he doesn't even comprehend the language (in order to ensure unity in the family & healthy development of the little one).

When is someone a drug addict?

Does a drug need to be prohibited narcotic?

I'd suggest that a mother-in-law's willingness to daily wash her (married with a child & living seperately) daughters' dishes (& clothing & floors & childs' dirty bum &....) and cook her lunches (& dinners .. ) is a drug of epic significance ... especially where laziness is part of the constitutional make-up of the daughter.

Consequences? .. among many others, no need to develop self, self-reliance, a sense of responsibility.... No need to become a well-rounded Mummy.